Now most people (almost everyone) have no idea about my life growing up. Last Friday I drove my girl through my old neighborhood in my hometown just so she can see where I came from. The only thing she could say was “Wooow.. Must have been tough *sarcastic voice*”.
To give an idea of the setting… I lived in what people would say the “upper middle class society of America”. Older women power walking through the streets, kids riding their bikes, new cars whipping down the streets.
That was my old neighborhood. The “good life” as people would say. That was not exactly the case with me. Though, yes, my life on the outside looked like the dream what happened behind the big oak doors was a living nightmare.
My father, who will forever remain unnamed, is the biggest villain in the world. He was so good at twisting people’s thoughts and beliefs to his own advantage that it made me sick to even say that he is my dad. My mother barely had a voice in the family. I literally witnessed days where my father would corner my mother, spit, blood, and veins yelling at her about how pathetic she was and how great he is. My dad tried to make up for it by getting me a puppy. Then one night he drunkenly held a knife to it saying he can take anything away just as easily as giving me anything. I was 9 when that happened. That was the life behind the doors (just a peek though).
Now on the outside it didn’t look all that bad. Brand new Lincoln SUVs, Nissan’s, and bikes. We always had everything brand new. Materials didn’t impress me at all but it meant everything to my dad. He wanted to show everyone that he was the biggest thing since the invention of the wheel. He actually gave a $40,000 loan to a “friend” with gambling debts. Mind the fact that he did that after my parents business closed for good. He still wanted to show everyone how powerful he was even after losing almost everything.
After enduring all of the crap he’s thrown at me I finally moved out once college started. My parents started to separate at this point and my dad went back to Korea after my grandpa passed away. To get away from all of the chaos I enlisted in the United States Marine Corps at 19. It wasnt the brightest idea but I wasn’t thinking. My mother was very upset but knew why I did it. It was because one day I looked in the mirror and I asked myself “what are you doing?”
A quick look back at my life… I started smoking cigarettes at the age of 13, drinking at 14, and doing everything else just so my mind could escape. I realized that I would end up like who I hated the most. I decided to straighten myself out for the better.
I vowed that day that I would be everything that my dad couldn’t be. A father, a husband, and a friend. The last time I saw my dad was to drop off a copy of my Marine Corps Graduation video to him (I figured I would show him what he will miss). I saw him in a crappy apartment looking like a homeless man with beer cans all over. He talked about how he was the greatest husband and that my mother would never find a man like him again. I couldn’t take it anymore.
Out of anger I tricked my dad into giving me $1000 dollars and told him that I would visit him if he gave me that money. I took it, ran, and split most of it with my mom. That was about 3 years ago and I never looked back.
I promised to my family and myself that I will be the best father, husband, and friend that anyone could have. And I made that promise to my girl, too. Someday she will see that I will fulfill my promise.
I will be the superhero and my dad will be the villain that will always lose 🙂