It’s the word most of us try to find the true meaning to and never will in a lifetime. Through my past experiences, love was always the number one thing I always tried to find. 2 failed engagements later I’ve proven that it is very difficult to understand even when you truly think you finally got it. After many years of failed relationships I started to sink into myself, wondering “was it really me and not her?”
Then I finally met the girl who literally helped me figure it out. She doesn’t even know it. I remember the first feeling I had when I saw her. My head started to heat up, my ears were turning red, and my fingers started to tingle. No one has ever made me feel that way. I didn’t know at that time that she was the one I truly wanted. The one that I always dreamed of.
All that I can think about was, and still, is her. No matter how many times I talk over reasons of why she is the greatest things that has happened in my life the words get trapped from that short path from my brain to my mouth. The only words I can manage to say to her is “Hi beautiful” or “You are so amazing” or just be creepy and stare into her beautiful blue eyes. I don’t know why it’s so hard to tell her exactly how I feel. I can recite the words I want to say over and over again no matter where I am but once I finally see her I go into super-lovestruck-stupid mode.
All I want to tell her is “You are the reason I wake up. The moment I start my day I think about you. Anything that I see makes me think about you. No matter how many hobbies I can have you are always on my mind. I wish I could just get the courage to tell you that I love you and tell you for hours and days what is exactly on my mind. You are truly what I want even though you think I’m wrong. Yes, I barely know you but that is why I am so crazy for you. I want to know all the little and big things about you. The good. The bad. The terrible and wonderful things about you. What your favorite color is to what makes you so driven to be who you are. You are the biggest mystery that I want to take a lifetime and a half to solve. I don’t care about all of the things in the past. All I want is the present to be as perfect as it is and our future to be bright and hopeful. I don’t expect you to be anything but yourself. No matter where I am, who is in front of me, or how far apart life takes us I will always choose you over anyone. No matter what. You are the reason I feel so alive and excited even on a Monday. Even in my sleep I am excited about you because I wake with a bolt of energy at 4am knowing that I will see you that day even if it’s for a hot second. All I want to be to you is your support line, your motivator, and most importantly your #1. Wil you be my partner in crime? Will you be my trainer and I’ll be your Pokemon? Will you be my Brain and I’ll be your Pinky? Will you be mine for now and maybe definitely forever.”
Is it really that hard!? Yes… You have not met this wonderful girl… Yet… 🙂