I’ll keep this one short cause I can’t really keep my thoughts together today.
Today I just realized that I don’t like myself. Actually, I hate who I am.
I think in order for me to do anything in life I have to figure out how I can handle who I am first. I cant depend on everyone. I can’t be so easy to fall for someone. I’m head over heels for someone who doesn’t understand me. It doesn’t help that I don’t understand me either.
This weekend away from everything might help. I’m also planning a trip away with just my Melon and I.
No phone. No Facebook. No blog. Just her and I.
I need to figure out what type of person I am. I don’t know where the lines are any more. I don’t know how to grasp my emotions the way everyone says I should. I don’t know what people see in me, whats so great about me, and especially why people love who I am.
I lead life with my emotions and not with my head.
Its not fair and definitely not healthy for me to throw myself at people and only be 50% charged in life. I need to fill the other half with what drives me from me and not from someone else.
It’s not going to be easy, but I need to start somewhere.
Wish me luck…