Okay, okay… I know I’ve been gone way too long. I keep wanting to hop on here and just express everything that is going in my mind but work and other things have kept me way too occupied.
So lets start from the beginning.
Obviously Monday I was recovering from the biggest hangover in the history (at least for me).
This whole week, so far, has been a test.
My department is going through a fire arms evaluation. I had my evaluation Tuesday. The board I was being reviewed by consisted of one of the department lieutenants, the risk management team, some clinical staff, and a local Deputy Chief of Police from a very big neighboring police agency.
As soon as I walked in the door the hairs on the back of my neck raised.
Now I know that I shouldn’t get nervous. I was completely confident in my abilities to complete the evaluation no problem. But the fact that the Deputy Chief was a very large 6’2″ guy who looked like he’s always looking for a fight did intimidate me a little bit.
I walked right up to him and shook his hand. His entire fist just engulfed my tiny young paw. It felt like I was shaking hands with an ogre. He said nothing more than “nice to meet you and good luck”.
So I stood in front of the shooting simulator we were using for our decision making skill evaluation. There were ten scenarios that I had to go through with a series of debrief questions that consisted of law questions, use of force policies, and tactical advantages/disadvantages.
I stumbled on a few questions that the Lieutenant asked because I was being stared down by the Deputy Chief. The simplest questions too!
“What did you observe?”
“Two, uh, people engaged in an argument”
“Was there a crime being committed?”
“Well… Um… No… Not at the initial moment”
“Okay, well what happened next?”
“The male subject then presented a weapon and held it to his head”
“Okay… I see that you drew your firearm but didn’t run for cover. Why?”
“Um… Well… (Being stared down) I didn’t see it necessary at that time”
Deputy Chief: “Okay. Well you could of been shot. Why stand in the open”
And it went on like that. Simple questions that I kept stumbling on. I kept laughing at my self saying “Uhhhh I’m drawing a blank *chuckles* but I guess it would be…”
The only good thing about it is that I was being myself. I wasn’t set in a mode to impress or anything like that. I was joking, being goofy, and serious all at once. I just let it all go and say what I said and went with it. I even got the Deputy Chief to laugh a few times too. He commented on how I would need to brush up on my shooting skills cause I’m not the “biggest” guy in the patrol field.
So after the ten scenarios ended all was quiet. I thought “Oh god I messed up this and that and that scenario and I could of done this better”.
The Lieutenant got up and said “Okay Officer Sin… Looks like we got everything we needed to get done. Thanks for coming down for the evaluation. We’ll keep in touch real soon”.
So as I was trying to get the hell out of dodge the Deputy Chief comes right up to me. He had a big grin and said “You just keep doing what you do and you’ll be fine. You did great. If you ever want to consider breaking from the hospital policing side and join in on the road I’m sure you’ll have a great future there, too. Take care!”
Phew… That gave me a great boost of confidence.
It also helped that while I was on patrol outside of the hospital a lot of girls said “Oh he’s cute” as I walked by (of course only one girl really matters, but it was still nice to hear that).
My confidence was maxed out after that.
But… The weekly tests have only just begun…
The department Major placed out a job opening for the Sergeants position in the training operations field. I put in my letter and put all of my qualifications out there. The Operations Lieutenant came up to me and said I might have a chance but he doesn’t really want to take me out of patrol and into operations yet. But he said if its what I want to do then he will try to set me up with an interview with a board.
So that is still pending.
Lastly… I’m meeting my girl’s mother today (Oh gawd).
Now, I know I say that she is the greatest girl that has ever walked on this planet. Seeing her every chance I get is more amazing than watching Jesus Christ himself walking on water while turning it into wine in the middle of healing a blind man.
Long story short she is the best thing that has ever happened to me (and will always be that great).
But the thing that I am worrying about is that… What if her mom doesn’t exactly like me?
My girl told me that her mom “loves” me and is glad that her daughter is finally with someone who treats her daughter like #1 superstar, but what if I goof up?
I’ve been thinking about how to approach everything the past two weeks. Running through things I should say, things I can’t say, what to do, what not to do.
I feel like I’m being sent to defuse a bomb. One wrong move and it all topples.
My girl told me to just be myself and I’ll be fine. So then jokingly I asked her “What if I fart in front of her? What happens then?”
She just laughed and said “That. Be like that! Don’t actually do it, but be loose and weird like you always are. That’s the real you. You’ll be fine”.
So I guess if I’m still happy and still with my girl then you will all know the first meet went perfect.
I’ll be gone for TWO WHOLE DAYS with my girl out of town and staying with her mother. I say TWO WHOLE DAYS because that’s more days than we’ve spent together. Me personally, I would prefer weeks, months, or even years. But two days is a good start (I guess… I get greedy…)
So thus judgement day is upon me.
Wish me luck everyone!