I don’t know why but I am extremely happy.
Okay, that’s a lie. I know why I’m happy. I’m happy because I have someone who is totally and completely awesome to me. She has the same likes, interests, and commitment (as vague as all of that sounds). I’ve never really been with someone who was almost exactly like me. I mean it’s literally like putting a reverse mirror, if that makes sense, and looking into it.
I mean really the only thing that is really opposite is that shes a girl and I’m a guy. I’m Asian and she’s white. She has super long hair and I have like a military crew cut. Literally only the physical features are what is really different. Other than that… nothing else really.
I had to put this in here. It’s things that this that my girlfriend and I would laugh at. Her sense of humor is about as messed up as mine. I mean when was the last time you had a good laugh. Not like someone at work told a funny joke and you just laugh because it was funny. Example is like when you say the same thing at the same time and you end up losing all motor functions in your body, you turn red, and you cry because your organs start to hurt.
That’s what I share with my girl almost every time I see her. Who else has made me laugh like that? No one. And I mean no one. She is like almost unreal. I’ve never been with someone who I can be so comfortable with and yet feel so nervous every time I see her. Literally every time feels like the first. Every hug, every kiss, every time I just see her blink. What is true love? Maybe that… Maybe…
Any who, work was pretty interesting today. One of my friends was asking me about what I was looking forward to in the future. He asked if my girlfriend was in the picture, if I was still going to be at the same place I work at now, where I would want to move to. I thought about it almost all day for some reason. I just feel like approaching my mid twenties its now or never for me to decide what my career path is. I kind of got worried because I feel like I am so unhappy yet comfortable with where I’m working.
But finally I came down to the ultimate decision. Every job that I can pursue will never be a set in stone situation. I feel like where ever my girlfriend wants to go I will do my best to follow. I love my job, but nothing can ever replace her. When my fire fighting schooling is all said and done I will be able to work almost anywhere in the United States so literally I will be able to follow her anywhere.
I would want the ability to travel before starting to have kids. I want to enjoy my marriage and not feel like anything has to be rushed. Do I believe I will be a great father? Absolutely. Do I think I will be able to provide for my future family? Yes I do. Am I ready for any of this right now? Not a chance.
If tomorrow I found out that an adventurous life would be cut short because something unexpected happened I would be bummed. BUT at the same time as long as I am with the love of my life I’m sure it will work out in the end. Will it be ideal? No. Which is why I would want to do things the way we would want to do it. I want to see the whole “us” factor as exactly what it is: a team. We are a team. We work together whether its for a future or deciding where we want to eat for dinner.
I think that for now, and I mean right now, I will be more focused on getting my fire fighting schooling done and over with. If any of my other opportunities will come up I will adjust accordingly, but when it comes down to it I will prioritize everything to the best of my abilities. When I think about it I am not terribly far from being at the right age of starting to really grow into something big. With most of my high school graduating class on a set path on a career, family, or jail (I went to a wild public school) I am just glad and thankful that I ditched my “rushing into things” idea and started to spread everything out and conquer one task at a time.
I mean my future is coming fast but I can slowly put on the brakes and really concentrate on what I need to accomplish before moving on to the next intersection of life.
Hopefully in a year or so I will have it all figured out. If not I know I’ll still be with my girl. I’m like pretty much super duper ultra confident with that one.