All posts tagged: Answers

Scars Don’t Heal… But They Cover Well

I have been hitting the walls of reality. I have done some inner soul searching. I’ve experienced almost every emotion possible that I could handle. Stress, anxiety, fear, loneliness, fulfillment, happiness, joy, sadness, cheerful, excited, scared, and the list goes on… But I have realized that I have been so heavy on the past. Everything that has happened to me in the past has really been dictating how I see tomorrow. Heck, even on how I see today. I’ve been out with friends almost everyday and realized something. Life can pass by at a blink of an eye, but the events can seem forever. Just a simple game of golf, fun night at the bar, or even a nice little relaxing bonfire can just really make you feel something. I have talked so much about my dad. It’s almost unreal. Being that it is mother’s day its a little unfitting that my dad even comes close to being a topic or the subject of the day. I hit reality that I don’t really want to have kids …

Life Journey To Something New

I’ve been super duper neglectful of this blog. I know that people have been waiting patiently (or have lost patience) for me to write something on here. Even if it’s just a paragraph explaining why I’m gone. Hopefully this long (maybe long) post will explain most of it. I’ve been on a “Life Searching” moment. Trying to find some reason for everyday to exist. I don’t know why but lately I’ve been kind of moping to myself about how life is just slowly wasting away to our ultimate fate and I am doing nothing about it. I just sit on the couch and just slowly watch time go by. I wake up then just go to bed with no substance in the middle during the day. One day it actually got so bad I just got up and went to work to work on a training tool we have. I think it all finally hit a climax on April Fool’s day. Speaking of which… Girls… Never EVER joke about being pregnant with your man. Worst heart stopping …

Bummed Out

Well today I found out the city I was applying for a firefighting position did not select me to move onto the next step. I kind of figured that out of hundreds of people for only fifteen spots the selection process would be rigorous. I was right. But I wont let it completely bum me out. I still have a job and a good one at that. It may not be with the command staff that I like, but they seem to know how to run things since we keep getting funding from somewhere. I may just have to man up and accept where I’m at right now. But for now I have to think about my happiness and not my professional future. I have an envelope in my bedroom with the word “Korea” on it. That is my trip to Korea money envelope. I am devoting a bit of my paycheck to that fund so that my girlfriend and I can have the vacation of a life time. I also have a few Korean …

New Style

I sat at my computer yesterday and opened up this page. I started to type but nothing was really… attention grabby. It was like really bland. I just read over the four hundred some words and it was literally just like “This is my day… this is what happened… Yay…” Was I pretty much done? I didn’t know what else to write. I wasn’t sure if I was just completely satisfied. Usually when I’m on here I’m overly excited about something like “Oh man! My girl did this and that and what not!” or I’ll be in a pissed off angry upset rage mode that the whole apartment heats up from my speed of typing. Am I just in the state of satisfaction? Is there nothing too exciting or depressing or making me upset? I guess for now all I can do is just sit in the fact that maybe I just finally reached a point where my life is actually  going smoothly. My mind and heart probably isn’t reacting the way I thought it …