Change, Life, Relationships, Work
Leave a Comment

I Finally Made It… But At What Cost?

sherifflogo

It has been a very long time since I have last given this any attention at all. I feel as if I owe everyone an explanation as to what the heck I have been up to that caused me to take an unannounced “hiatus” from all of this.

As the picture above shows I finally got the job I’ve always wanted. Well… Not exactly but really close! I will be working as a County Deputy in my state soon. I can’t wait to exchange the “Police Authority” uniform for an actual deputy uniform. Everyone always told me “now is not the time to be a cop. Not with all the race hating accusations of law enforcement officers these days”.

I’ve heard that from friends, retired, and current law enforcement officers. What do I have to say to that? So what… 

I know who I am. I know what kind of person I can be. I know where the limits of enforcement and criminal are. I just remember how I got the final word of my employment with the county department I’ll be working for.

Two unmarked patrol cars from the county parked right outside of my apartment on the main busy road of the city I live in. Two very large deputies (people I would immediately give up to if we were to get into a scrap) walked up to my door. Both were in uniform. With my neighbors looking they asked they could come in to talk for a bit. I’m sure everyone thought I would be carted out in handcuffs after our little “talk”.

But they sat down on the couch and talked about everything. My high school academics, college, the military, personal life, “run-ins” with the law, hobbies, and family life. Literally everything was mentally exhausting, but they stated that I was the guy they were looking for. Problem was I had (at the time) two weeks to move across the state to get ready for that job.

After all the handshakes and congrats from them I watched them leave… Or so I thought. I laid in my bed as soon as they left and just fell asleep for a hot minute. I woke up after my power nap and went out back to let my dog out. My next door neighbor came right up to me and said “those cops asked a lot of questions about you. They just asked if you party all the time, if girls come in and out of your place, and just other really random things about your personal life. We said all good things about you. Don’t worry”.

At least I know my neighbors got my back.

So I’ve been running all around the state getting my uniforms fitted, getting the academy itinerary all set up, packing, going to the townhouse complex I am renting to sign the lease, packing, selling stuff that I don’t need, packing, and doing the whole “goodbye everybody” hang out sessions with friends.

I find it sad that during the whole ordeal of finally getting the job I have been working to get took a lot of… collateral damage.

If anyone remembers this whole blog was set up from the idea given to me by my girlfriend. Well sad to say that she is now my “ex”.

broken_heart1

Yup. I am single again. I guess it was a long time coming. I was so focused on myself, with the new job and moving, that I wasn’t really with it in the whole relationship program. My ex was also just starting up school again and attending a local university. We were both super busy in getting our own lives together.

Am I sad that it ended? Of course I am. The whole new exploration of a dream job cost me a romantic relationship due to my willingness to progress in my professional field while halting everything else.

She texts me every so often always wondering where she went wrong. I think, and sorry if this sounds sexist, it’s a thing about women when relationships end it seems like they always think it was them. Honestly there was only one person that I have ever dated that there was something actually wrong with them.

But I really think it’s just me. I don’t know how to handle a relationship because I was never satisfied with myself. One blog that I read recently was stating “what helps create a successful relationship” and one of the points was you need to find a sense of direction.

Basically it stated that you needed to invest in your own personal goals and desires just as much as you invest in your romantic goals and desires in a relationship. The problem was I didn’t know how to do both at the same time. So I just feel like once I get my own personal life in order I can then allow myself to get involved with someone else. Is that wrong of me to think that way?

Who knows… All I know is that I, despite my best efforts, brought my Facebook back up and running. No I did not bring it up to post stupid statuses about things only ten percent of my friends list care about. I realized that once I move I won’t be in contact with a lot of friends from the hospital because I don’t have all of their phone numbers. Really I just kept it to stay in contact. My eventual goal is to get everyone’s phone numbers to completely drown Facebook for good. We shall see…

But anyway I should be all moved out soon. I have so much PTO saved up from my current job that when I leave I should have at least a good week or two off to just relax before going right back into the fire. I am thinking about getting rid of my laptop and trading that in for an iPad. I think having two computers is really… redundant. I could just get a little keyboard for the iPad and things like that. Moving to a new place is exciting and expensive…

But once all the dust settles and the chaos comes to a dull roar I should be back at it on this. I’ll only be working three to four days a week with my new job so I’ll have more time to myself.

Again, if anyone wants to keep in touch or wants to tell me to get out of the funk and back onto this blog please email me. I think it’s posted on my site. I haven’t been on here in a long while so I need to go back and check everything again.

Any who wish me luck!

Have a great weekend 🙂

This entry was posted in: Change, Life, Relationships, Work

by

I am just the weirdest, friendliest, and possibly even the most annoying person you will ever meet. No one can quite understand me. I try to convince people that I am just an every day average guy but my past life events have not backed me up on that claim. Where life has taken me is where very few have experienced. My ultimate goal here is to share to people that, yes, life can be hard. It will literally push you to the edge of the earth and laugh in your face. I want to let people know that they are not alone. No matter what class, race, or age we all have problems and our successes. My actual job is to literally talk to people. I love my job so much that I started this blog to share to the world my voice, experiences, and opinions about life and its crazy ride that we are all stuck on. If you have anything you want to share or have me write about please feel free to contact me :)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s